The Trip I Booked When I Didn’t Know What Else to Do

For three weeks, I cried every single day.

I barely slept, I barely ate, and the anxiety sitting in my stomach just wouldn't go away. I was convinced I'd made the biggest mistake of my life and somewhere along the way, I'd completely lost myself.

I was trying everything to feel better, but nothing seemed to help. As a ‘strong, independent woman’ who’s generally pretty positive about life, I couldn’t stand myself. This was not me but I could not snap out of it. 

So I booked a 7 day ‘healing’ retreat in Bali to depart in 10 days. It was a completely last minute decision. Part of me wanted to escape the sadness, and part of me hoped I'd find a way to start feeling like myself again.

I had no idea what to expect. I just knew I couldn't keep feeling the way I did.

What happened over the following week challenged me, surprised me and changed me in ways I never expected.

This is probably the most personal thing I've ever shared.

If you've ever felt overwhelmed, heartbroken, burnt out, or like you've forgotten who you are, maybe this is your reminder to stop putting yourself last.

Taking time away isn't selfish. Sometimes it's exactly what you need.

Here's my experience at a women’s retreat in Bali.

Day 1 - A Leap of Faith

Angga the driver picks me up from my hotel in Legian. 2 nights here was enough and I think I should have stayed somewhere else, somewhere I haven’t stayed before. It’s not bad…. It’s just… the memories. 

Angga has made me feel so welcome and calmed my nerves. Which is good cause I feel so many mixed emotions including the gross anxiety that’s been sitting in my stomach for the past 3 weeks. 

He’s tells me the traffic is good and it should take about an hour, shares about the upcoming experience, and how many more guests there will be. There’s a total of 12 guests this week. I’m looking forward to meeting them and making new friends. One of my favourite things about travel! I know they’ll all be women cause I’ve booked a women’s retreat. 

Angga has given me a bottle of cold water, cold towel and a little snack box in a weaved basket. He tells me there vegetarian food inside as they know I’m vegetarian. I don’t know what’s inside the snack box, cause I can’t even think about food right now. Even though I haven’t eaten today. 

He’s been at Escape Haven for 5 years. And he’s one of the the newest team members. Many have been there 10+. He’s says ‘it’s like a home’ and ‘a peaceful’ place to work.

The traffic is very light, so it only takes about 40 mins from Legian to the retreat in Canggu. He calls ahead to make sure they know I’m arriving earlier than expected. 

On arrival I was welcomed with a water blessing and a frangipani flower was placed above my ear. I was then taken into the lounge area where Facilitator Wang welcomed me. 

She welcomed me so beautifully and I nearly started crying but got myself together. 

She goes over my personalised schedule and the group activities available to do, if I want. There are also some optional activities and sessions at an additional cost. Other than those additional sessions, everything else is included! 

I will meet my personal facilitator, Yuni, tomorrow. 

Wang shows me around the small but still so spacious complex. It’s absolutely stunning. A mini resort. Modern, light, but still colourful and a space I know I’m going to feel so comfortable in. 

Then I get to my room. Oh my gosh. Something about it is so peaceful. My room is huge, light and beautifully calming. It has soft tropical wallpaper, a gorgeous rattan bedhead, a chandelier made of little white shells and a big chaise by the window that makes the whole space feel relaxed but still really luxurious. It’s fresh, peaceful and exactly the kind of room you want to walk into on a retreat.

I’m shown around the room, given my goodie bag and reminded of my scheduled, that my welcome massage is in an hour. 

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I take some time to unpack my things. Not that I have much, and read over my schedule and the group activities to worked out what I can fit where. I want to try and do most of the group things, but we’ll see how that goes. Yoga and Pilates are not really my thing. But I’ve paid a lot to be here and I’ve come along way, so I feel I should give it a go. At least once!

While I’m waiting for my massage appointment in the Coconut lounge, I meet 2 ladies that arrived yesterday, Jo and Julia. Julia is from Melbourne and Jo is from the UK. We get chatting a little and I instantly love them. Julia seems like my kind of person. Jo too of course but I can tell straight away that Julia has a little bit of a wild side. Looking back, I had no idea these women would become such a big part of my healing that week.

Julia says she’s going out for a drink later at the place where they do tarot card readings with cocktails. I’ve invite myself to tag along. 

My welcome massage is so lovely, lots of oil and firmer than I’m used to, but still really nice and relaxing. And in the most beautiful treatment room. 

After my treatment I go back to my room and wonder if I should go down to the pool area, where I saw Julia, or stay in my room. I decide to go to say hi with my cup on ginger tea. It’s a brief chat and I decide to leave her be as she’s reading a book. 

Yoga is at 5 and I contemplate if I’m going to attend. I go back to my room, get changed and head to yoga. This should be interesting! The only exercise I’ve done lately is a light walk each day and a bolt thru the airport on Thursday so I didn’t miss my flight! 

The yoga was sensational! It was Yin Yoga (I think that’s what it’s called). It’s light gentle poses which you hold for a few minutes so it was more relaxing than actual exercise. There were only 3 of us in the class. An hour flew by. 

We step straight out of yoga to a beautifully set up table ready for dinner. The other women have arrived. 

I sit across from Samantha from Texas and she’s absolutely gorgeous. Soft spoken and very beautiful. She’s an elementary teacher. I haven’t asked what brings her to the retreat, but I’m curious. 

We chat non stop and also join in some of the other conversations around the table. There are 10 of us in total. Including a mother and her daughter who is 17. The mum has been here before and wanted to bring her daughter for the experience. I can’t help but to think how much I’d love to come here with Layla. It would be an incredible bonding experience and my mind goes to business and I think how I’d love to host a mother/daughter group here and even looking into other business opportunities here as I already know how beneficial this is going to be for me. 

Dinner is delicious and even though I’m still not hungry, I have some vegetable soup, the main is roast pumpkin with toasted almonds and coconut yogurt dressing. It is really good and I feel bad that I can only eat half. Dessert is a small cup of cacao mousse and it’s amazing. It all goes with the juice of the day, which is watermelon and lime. 

Julia suggests we go check out the Tarot Bar down the road. It sounds cool, so even though I’m tired, I’m definitely tagging along. 

The bar is only 5 mins walk, so we (myself, Julia, Samatha and Jo) tell security where we’re going and head off. It’s about 8pm and no one wants a late night. 

We get to the bar and it’s really unique. It’s a small dark room with red lighting and just a bar and some bar stools and a coffee table with a couch and we see some customers having their tarot reading. The vibe is very chilled. We sit on one of the few tables outside and order our drinks. About 10 mins after we get our drinks the server comes out to tell us we can have our readings. We all go together. 

Michelle is our tarot reader. She young and very beautiful and has been doing this since 2018 but tonight is her last night as she’s getting married soon and doesn’t want to work at nighttime. 

She asks if we have any specific question each or if we would prefer a ‘message from the universe’. 

We decide that a message from the universe would be awesome. After our brief readings, we go back to our table outside and chat about how fun it was and one by one we talk about how each of our readings resonated. It opens up more personal conversation. 

I’m finding it interesting that I can openly chat to these women about why I’m here without crying!!! I’ve cried so much over the past 3 weeks that I’m almost in shock. I take this as a sign that I’m on the right path. Julia and I are the most comfortable and happy to share more personal details about our lives, but Samantha and Jo seem a little more reserved, which is totally fine. 

We get back to the retreat before 10pm and head towards our rooms. 

As I walk back towards mine, Julia asks if I want to see her room cause apparently, it’s different to everyone else’s. It’s really lovely and spacious. The bathroom is massive with a big tub for the flower baths that she really wants. 

As I get into my room, I feel an overwhelming sense of gratitude to be here and feel like I fit in so well. But after I have a quick shower and jump into bed, I start to worry about the sleep I’ll have, and my brain starts to tell those familiar stories it’s been telling for the past 3 week. I don’t have the best sleep. 

Day 2 - Learning to Breathe Again

Some light comes thru the curtain and I wonder why my alarm hasn’t gone off. I set it for 640am so I could go to the Morning Mantra at 7am. 

But it was set on ‘weekdays’ and today is Sunday. The time is 740am. I hop out of bed, have a super quick shower and put on some clothes for ‘Dynamic Pilates’ at 8am. 

I honestly find it a little challenging and after 60 minutes, I’ve worked up a little sweat. I haven’t done Pilates before, and I don’t do any form of strength exercise at all! But I’m not worried. It’s actually fun and I have the whole class laughing at me when I couldn’t get myself up from laying position using my stomach muscles. Even Julie (not to be confused with Julia), who would be in her late 50’s, can do it and she finds it funny that I can’t. I feel so comfortable with these women even though we’ve known each other less than 24hrs. 

Then it’s straight to breakfast which is just next door. 

I selected all my meals yesterday not long after arrival. Breakfast is a small plate of scrambled eggs and the cutest smoothie bowl with the letters ‘BALI’ carved out of rockmelon on top. 

There’s also some fruit platters scattered around the long table. I eat all the scrambled eggs for the protein and half the smoothie bowl. I notice that eating isn’t making me feel sick today. 

After breakfast, I have a meeting with Yuni, my personal retreat facilitator. She wants to make sure I get the most out of my stay and my chosen package and my schedule and asks me why I’m here. 

I can’t hold back the tears and share as much as I can with her. I feel so silly but she’s so gentle and reassures me that I need to let it out and not hold it in. She says something that makes me feel an incredible warmth. She says something along the lines of ‘I can tell just from being in your presence that you’re a good and honest person’. 

I take a deep breath that feels so relieving, as I feel like I’ve just been holding my breath for 5 minutes to try and stop myself from crying more. Actually, I feel like I’ve been doing this for weeks. 

She shares how what they have scheduled for me will definitely help and she’s excited for me to feel so much better inside and out. 

It’s almost 1030am and time for my first treatment of the day. So I quickly go back to my room, undress, put my robe on and head to the Coconut Lounge to wait. The treatment this morning is a 90 minute Ayurvedic dry brushing of the skin with an oil massage and then they use a rolling pin style instrument and roll it over my body. It’s lovely! 

After the massage, I have a ginger tea in the Coconut Lounge and catch up with some of the girls before lunch. 

My lunch today is a cold green soup and it’s amazing. I don’t know what the flavours are, but it’s so good. So fresh! My main is half a roasted cauliflower in a yummy béchamel style sauce with purple sweet potato and asparagus. It’s really delicious, but I can’t eat it all. I feel like we just had breakfast. There’s no chance of going hungry here! 

I have free time (about 3 hours) between lunch and my next spa treatment, so I head back to my room, put my bathers on and hop in the pool with Julie. She seems so sweet but is quite reserved, even though at lunch, she did tell us all about her incredible ’trauma healing’ session she had earlier. But obviously didn’t go into details. We chat for a bit then both hop out and Julie heads to her spa appointment and I chill in the Coconut Lounge. Some of the girls have gone shopping but I don’t want to do that. I’m more than happy to stay at the retreat and enjoy the peace and serenity. 

My next spa treatment is a facial and it’s magnificent. There are cleansers and light scrubs and what feels like a clay mask. While the mask is setting, my hands and arms are massaged. 

When the mask is set, it’s slowly peeled off like a snakeskin, and I can almost feel the tiny hairs on my face get plucked out one by one, but it doesn’t hurt. After 60 minutes, my skin feels great and I was expecting to look 10 years younger. But that obviously didn’t happen. 

Another post treatment Ginger tea is bought to me by Carlos, who I call the Coconut Lounge Manager.

I think he’s becoming my favourite, always asking if we need something and reassuring us that he is there for us wherever we need anything and that we are not to lift a finger while we are here. 

This evening we have our official Welcoming Ceremony. This is held in a space that they call the Fire Pit. It’s a circular space that sort of sits in the middle of the pool.

There’s bench style seating that goes all the way round with the fire pit in the middle. It’s really beautiful and has a huge mirror on the wall in front of it. I’m early, so I sit in the Coconut Lounge and wait for the others while I wonder what this welcoming ceremony will be about.

All I know is that we will each talk a little about ourselves, and that makes me nervous, even though I’m pretty comfortable with all the ladies here. 

The Welcoming Ceremony is way more emotional than I was expecting. Alicia, who is one of the Yoga teachers leads the ceremony and shares a little about how she’s excited we’ve made the time for ourselves and understands that most of us would have had to make a lot of sacrifices to be here. She shares her story and tells us all about what bought her to Bali 12 years ago. She shares a lot, but shares so beautifully. Her voice is so calming and I could listen to her speak for hours. We’re then asked to share what bought us to Bali and this retreat specifically and what we’re hoping to get out of it by the end. There are 10 of us and we’re told we only have to talk for 2 or 3 minutes and only if we are happy to. If we don’t want to talk, we can pass. 

We take it in turns around the circle, starting with one of the new girls who just arrived today. ‘Mary’ (not her real name) is from Kuwait. She’s been quiet and reserved, but tonight she completely opens up and hysterically cries as she shares about her life growing up, many failed relationships and her loneliness. Her English is a little ‘broken’, but we understand every word she says. She’s hurting like I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone hurt before and I feel so sorry for her and try hard to hold back the tears. 

When it’s my turn, I share a little about why I’m here and what’s been happening for me over the past few weeks. That I’m normally a very happy and positive person but just can’t seem to shake the sadness and anxiety I’ve been feeling and no matter what I try, I can’t get myself out of it and I’m not willing for ‘time to heal’. I want to be proactive and ‘get my shit together’. Some are surprised when I mention that I only booked this trip 10 days ago. 

There are 10 of us in total and 9 of us share. As we go around the circle, I feel like my problems are insignificant compared to the trauma some of these women have experienced in their lives. Some have experienced being sexually abused as children, some have had horrible relationships, a couple of ladies are here to determine who they are without their careers as their jobs feel like their entire identity, some have lost loved ones and some feel like they’ve lost themselves. But I remind myself that we are all here for different reasons and need different things. So many of these stories bring me to tears. Without realising it at the time, we have all just become closer and will remember this moment for the rest of our lives. 

When the Ceremony is done, we all sit in silence for about 30 seconds before getting up and making our way to dinner. 

Dinner is outside by the other pool and once again the food is sensational. Entree for me, the vegetarian, was a quinoa and zucchini frittata and my main was a vegetable moussaka.  Considering all the stories that have just been shared, the conversations are light and there’s lots of laughter. 

I’m feeling really tired and knowing I have ‘homework’ for tomorrow’s early morning activity, I thank everyone for a beautiful night and for sharing their stories and being so vulnerable. 

I head to my beautiful room, have a shower and do my ‘homework’. I don’t have a great sleep but think it’s better than the night before. 

Day 3 - Let It Go, Let It Go

This morning started at 630am where 3 of us hopped on a golf buggy with my driver from Day 1, Angga. We’re heading to a little temple by the beach for a ‘Letting Go’ ceremony. 

The letting go ceremony is less about magically erasing the past and more about creating a meaningful transition from past to future. It gives you a dedicated moment to acknowledge what you've been carrying that’s too heavy, consciously release it, and make space for what's next. It draws inspiration from Balinese Hindu traditions, while also being accessible to people of any faith or no faith at all. 

When we arrive the Balinese priest is blessing the water that will soon be tipped all over us while he chants and prays for us each individually. 

We are wearing our bathers and sarong and they tie a red scarf around our waist and guide us up to the temple and we sit in a line on a mat on the ground. I’m in the middle of Jo from the Uk and Samantha from USA. 

First we each need to be cleansed. Jo is first. We’re all sitting side by side and have our eyes shut and in hands in the prayer position, so I can’t initially see what’s going on but as I hear the chanting start and the water pour over Jo, I take a look. 

It looks actually quite relaxing, so I close my eyes again and listen to the chants, wondering what they mean. 

About 1 minute into Jo’s cleansing, I can hear her make noises which sounds like crying and I’m instantly struggling to hold back my tears. After hearing Jo share her story last night, I think she’s having some sort of emotional release. Then the noises she’s making get louder and I think she’s breaking down and I silently cry for her some more. Later, when the ceremony is finished I find out that she was actually laughing cause she was choking on all the water being poured over her. 

It’s my turn to be cleansed, then Samantha. Each of our cleanings go for about 2 minutes. 

Sitting on the ground saturated and cold, the priest sits down in front of me with a handful of incense and chants some more. We’re still closing our eyes with hands in the prayer position. After this, we’re asked to get out our ‘homework’ from last night and read it silently to ourselves. 

The homework was to write down what we’re ready to release…. grief, regret, fear, limiting beliefs, resentment, guilt, self criticism, or old patterns or people that no longer serve us or who we need to move on from. 

We’re invited to tear up our paper and place it under some flowers in our little offering baskets we’ve just been given. We hold the small baskets out in front of us and close our eyes while the priest chants for us again. Rather than pushing feelings away, we’re told to sit with them, honour them, and recognise the role they've played in our lives. I’ve got my eyes closed but a wave of sadness comes over me about what I’m letting go and I cry silently. I don’t feel ready to release what I’ve written down, but I know I need to. That’s why I’m here. 

We’re guided, with our baskets and torn up paper, down to the beach and throw them in the ocean. We’re then told to wash our face three times with the ocean water. 

When we walk back up to the priest, his gives us our ‘purification bracelets’, which is just white string tied around our wrists. But it seems to signify so much more than just white string. A few more chants and another light spray of water on our heads and we’ve completed the Letting Go Ceremony. And it feels good! 

Before we leave, I remember one of the girls back at the retreat telling me that the priest can do palm readings, so I ask if he would mind doing that for us. He was so gracious and generous and read each of our palms while our driver translated for us. I’m told that my grandmother on my mums side is always looking down on me and when I see a butterfly, that’s her. It was a fabulous experience and I’m so glad I asked for the palm reading! 

We get back on the buggy and head back to the retreat which is only about 10 mins away. We’re cold so we jump into the warm spa and the staff bring us each a little pot of camomile tea to symbolise the end of the ceremony. On the trays that each of our tea pots sit on is a note that says ‘sometimes letting go is the only way to heal’. 

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Not long after we get back, breakfast is served in a large floating basket in the pool. We all gather round (some in the pool, some sitting on the edge) and casually chat while we eat Bircher muesli from little coconut bowls from the beautiful floating basket that’s filled with so much fruit, some pancakes, fritters and other amazing foods. 

I tell the girls about how I started crying cause I thought Jo was crying, but she was actually drowning is blessed water. Everyone thought it was pretty funny! 

After breakfast we have the choice to attend a meditation and manifestation workshop. Of course I’m going!

It’s an hour with Alicia and a mix of meditation and being taught about manifestation and how it works. We’re given some very simple tasks to do each day when we go home. I’m super keen to do this as I’ve began a bit of a practice at home a few weeks ago. It’s really just consisted of listening to relaxing manifestation sounds while I go to sleep at night. 

I’m still full from breakfast, but next we have a cooking class. We don’t really do any cooking. We just chop some herbs, spices and vegetables but it’s still really fun! After about 45 mins, we’re eating again. Everything is so fresh and so good, even though I’m not at all hungry, I eat half my plate of food. 

After lunch I have a spa treatment. Today is a one hour signature massage. I’m so tired from being up early and possibly from ‘letting go’, that I fall asleep during the massage. 

When I finish, I see Julia by the pool, so tell her I’ll go get my bathers on and join her. 

She tells me about a strange sort of energy healing she’s just done with the yoga teacher and how she had some sort of out of body experience and was convulsing and screaming and crying and laughing. Her eyes are so wide as she tells me and I’m absolutely fascinated and at the same time, wondering if this is something I need too. I’ve got a big day of healing sessions tomorrow and the next day, so I’ll put anything else on the back burner for now. 

We float around in the pool on these giant yellow beanbags and it’s just so nice. Of course Carlos comes over to ask us if we want anything. There’s always ‘cake of the day’ at 3pm, so he gets us some even though I insist I don’t want any. He’s so cute! 

Julia has another treatment at 430, so she goes off to that and I head up to my room, intending to wash and dry my hair, but when I get to my room, I can’t be bothered with my hair and just want to chill. Dinner is in 2 hours and there’s no way I’m going to be hungry by then. 

630pm arrives quickly and once again, I can only eat about half. I feel so bad and it’s such a waste, so I’ll chat to Yuni tomorrow about seeing if they can halve my meals. 

After dinner we have a group Floating Sound Meditation in the pool. There weren’t enough blow up beds for everyone so I was happy to be offered the pool side bed with a head massage! I really enjoy sound meditation but tonight, I can’t relax. I don’t know why but I find myself wanting it to be over so I can go to bed. I’m tired but I need to wash and dry my hair before bed. This was a bad idea. The hairdryer wasn’t great and it looks me around an hour to dry it fully. The next day I ask Yuni if they have other hairdryers and she happily replaces mine with a new, super speedy one! Ask and you shall receive!

I hop into bed really grateful for the incredible experience today with the Healing Ceremony. I’m hopeful for a good sleep tonight and am looking forward to tomorrow’s activities and sessions. 

Day 4 - Meeting Little Lauren

I sleep in a little today. I wanted to do the morning mantra at 7am and yoga at 8am but thought sleep (or rest) was better this morning. 

It’s another amazing day in Bali. Each day has been perfect, around 25-30 degrees and sunny! Much better than the 10 degrees and rain we’ve been having back home. 

Breakfast is amazing, of course! I can never remember what I ordered for myself the previous day but I’ve got chia pudding, fritters and a small plate of scrambled eggs. 

After breakfast we have an offering making class. If you’ve been to Bali before you’ll have seen these offerings scattered around the streets, in front of shops and temples. You may have even accidentally stepped on one and wondered what it is. 

I thought this was going to be a fun type of class but it was so much more! We were dressed in traditional clothes and Yuni gave us a total insight into the history behind the ‘Canang Sari’ and the meaning behind them. They are handmade palm leaf baskets filled with flowers, a little bit of rice and incense. 

“The meaning behind a Canang Sari is to:

Express gratitude for life's blessings.

Honour the gods and maintain harmony.

Create balance between the spiritual and physical worlds.

Offer respect to both positive and negative energies, helping to maintain peace and equilibrium.”

Yuni explained it much better and more meaningfully than ChatGPT and I couldn’t help but to think, if everyone did this practice every day, the world would be a much better place and it motivates me to create some sort of gratitude ritual when I get back home. 

One thing in particular that stood out was when Yuni talked about how even when bad things happen, they will take it as a lesson in life and how they can improve. I’m drawn to this so much as I often tell myself ‘everything is a lesson’! Especially lately. 

We each make our Canang Sari and then we realised that the priest from yesterday is at our retreat to do a blessing ceremony with us. Once again we are flicked with water and this time, sprinkled with flowers while we meditate and listen to him chant. It’s so calming. We’re given another string bracelet. It’s red, white and black sting and the strings are weaved together. 

These are a traditional Balinese Tridatu bracelet. The black, white and red stings symbolise balance, protection and new beginnings. It might just look like a bracelet, but to me it represents this journey so far, letting go of what no longer serves me, finding my way back to myself, and I’m hoping to carry that feeling home with me. 

After the ceremony, we place our offerings at the pelinggih (small temple/shrine) at the side of the main retreat building. 

Not long after this it’s time for my Balinese Healing with the priestess Aji Laksmi. 

I was told to prepare a list of things I wanted to manifest, so went into this thinking it was a private manifestation session. I’d need to wear my bathers and sarong cause I’ll be getting wet. 

This session was just outside the main door of the retreat in the little driveway and I was escorted there by one of the retreat staff. Laksmi was sitting on the ground in front of a very small fire pit that would have been a little bigger than a large salad bowl. There was wood in there but it wasn’t on fire. I’m wondering if I’m going to burn my list of things I wanted to manifest and think that would be weird but I’m open to whatever. 

Sitting next to Laksmi is her mother. I can’t remember her name but she’s very cute and has a beautiful warm smile. I’m not really sure why she’s there.

It’s still a little bit of a blur but it turned out to be like another letting go ceremony but a private one where I could openly share about why I was there. As I share my story, I cry straight away. I didn’t think I’d be sharing this today. But turns out I should have also written down the main thing I was letting go along with my manifestations. Im offered pen and paper to finish the homework I didn’t complete. 

There’s a lot of chanting and I realise now why the mum is here. She’s like a part of the band and her role is percussionist with the gongs and sound bowls as well as back up vocals (chatting). 

It’s a style of cleansing before the real work begins. I got brought over to sit on a stool nearby and got told to close my eyes. I could smell incense and felt a warmth at my feet so I put two and two together and realise the incense is at my feet. 

I’m not sure what happens for the next few minutes but when I’m listening to Laksmi, I realise she’s trying to make me bring my ‘grief’ to the surface and tells me to take a deep breath and exhale forcefully and loudly, then again but louder and then again and then she tells me it’s ok to let go and I can scream if I want to. I’ve seen a similar thing on TikTok and immediately feel like I should be screaming and crying like the girls on TikTok… but I can’t scream… it more like a loud arrhh. I just burst into tears. 

I’m reassured that this is good and to keep going. I know that I’m full on ugly crying at this point but wondering if I should be screaming instead, and in a way feel like I’ve failed the assignment. 

After the chair crying, I’m moved over to stand in front of a Buddha statue but with my back to him. I’m drenched in water. Water falls over my head and face and I’m asked to turn around to face Buddha. Then after some more chanting I hear the words ‘you’ve just been reborn and today is your Bali birthday, happy birthday’. 

I bawl my eyes out uncontrollably. I think for a couple of reasons. 1. I love Bali so much and am excited by the fact that I have a Bali birthday, and 2. I’ve possibly just released some sort of trauma. 

Laksmi gives me a small bottle with a roller top. It’s essential oil in there that her dad, who is also a healer, made. She’s also given me a print out of the chant I need to do three times before I roll the oil on my chest. 

Last night was a full moon. In Bali a full moon is spiritually significant and celebrated as a time when spiritual energy is believed to be at its strongest. It's considered an ideal time for cleansing and purification, letting go of what or who no longer serves you and setting intentions for the month ahead. And today being the end of the financial year also, I feel it’s the perfect day for this to signify the end of one thing and the start of something new….and easy to remember my Bali birthday. I’m given another string bracelet. Now it’s time for lunch. 

After lunch I have a 60 min hot stone massage. I’ve had one of these before and it was wonderful but during this massage, I find it hard to shut off my brain. When I’m finished I’ve got enough time to have a ginger tea, get changed and come back for ‘Healing trauma with Edwin’. This should be interesting. 

That was the most insane and most wonderful and interesting thing that I’ve ever done. That was a ‘letting go ceremony’ on steroids. This wasn’t included in the package but one of the other ladies spoke to me about how much she found out about herself during this 2 hour optional session. For $300, I thought, I’m here, why not give it a go. 

I’ve never been a ‘woo woo’ kind of girl, but fascinated and intrigued by alternative healings, energy healings, tarot, astrology and all that weird and wonderful stuff. I’m not religious in anyway but I certainly believe there’s a higher power and trust that the universe has my back…. positive in/positive out and all that! My dad will often repeat a Zig Ziglar quote: “You are what you are and you are where you are because of what has gone into your mind. You change what you are and you change where you are by changing what goes into your mind.”

So, as a generally positive and happy person, sitting in sadness the past 3 weeks has not suited me at all and I’m dying to do what I can to get out of this awful feeling. I feel so much better since being here but also conscious that I do have to go back home to reality in a few days. So let’s give this $300 2 hour trauma healing session with a man named Edwin a go. 

Edwin is so lovely. I’m instantly drawn to him and feel happy in his presence. He’s a handsome man. I don’t think he’s Balinese but I’m not sure… he could be, but he seems too tall. He explains what his work involves and it sounds amazing. Ok Edwin, let’s do this. 

He uses a retractable wooden stick type thing. It’s about 30 cms long when he pulls it out as far as it goes …I can’t really see the exact details of each end of the stick, but one end has a circular ending with what looks like a red dot on it and the other end is a bit more pointy. 

He tells me to look at the end with the red dot and asks me questions. As he asks each question, I can feel him staring into my eyes. Apparently he’s looking ever so closely at my eye movements to seek answers that my words aren’t giving. There’s a bit of ‘inner child’ work going on here, which has also fascinated me for years. 

Inner child work is all about reconnecting with the younger version of yourself and healing the beliefs or hurt or even trauma you picked up growing up. It helps you understand why you are the way you are and why you react the way you do in life and relationships, then you can do the work to let go of old patterns, and move through life with more confidence, self compassion and peace. 

I’ve never felt the need to do this kind of work on myself as I had what would probably be described as a pretty good childhood growing up! Great parents, great home and all that, so it was very interesting to see what came to the surface for my inner child, who Edwin called ‘Little Lauren’. 

'Little Lauren' pretty much cried the entire session, in between trying to do deep breath work and positive affirmations to break old habits and create healthier new patterns. At one point, I’m not necessarily crying but I eyes have tears literally pouring down the side of my face. It won’t stop. It’s so bizarre. 

I know it sounds weird, but afterwards, I felt so much lighter but completely exhausted. Edwin walked me out and just before I said goodbye, he said ‘Lauren, I want you to know that you have the most amazing energy’. Standing on the bottom step looking up at him I asked, ‘can I hug you?’. He says ‘yes of course’ and he gives me the warmest hug and I embrace him back the same way. And if you know me, I’m not much of a hugger. 

When I get back to my room, I’ve got a text message. It says: 

“Lauren, hope you enjoy your new energy with clarity✨

1-2 days after the trauma healing process, there is a possibility the body will be still processing to adjust new memory and heal itself. Feeling tired and need rest is normal. 

With love

Edwin”

He’s also shared his Spotify playlist with me! 

I was supposed to meet the other girls out for dinner as the dinner tonight was outside of the retreat. But I was too tired. It was only about 7pm, but I was ready for bed. 

I thought I should have some food before sleeping, so I ordered so Vietnamese noodle soup via the Gojek app. I’m told by retreat staff that they will bring it to my room when it arrives. When the beautiful staff come to my room with my takeaway, it’s been assembled (because the soup broth comes separately to the noodles and veggies) into a bowl, put on a tray and they’ve given me cutlery and napkin! There’s not much you have to do around here except what’s on your daily schedule. I want to live here. Perhaps with my renewed sense of hope and new manifestation skills, I will wake up tomorrow and have won the lotto!!! 

Day 5 - Trusting the Process

One thing I’ve gotten to mention that I feel is so important is that all the staff know your name! Everything feels so personal. ‘Lauren, it’s time for your treatment’, ‘Lauren, it’s time for your session’, ‘Lauren, would you like something to eat or drink’…. It’s so lovely. 

Today, most of the girls have gone to a temple in Ubud. I didn’t go as I expected my period this morning and you’re not able to enter the temple if you have your period. It hasn’t arrived, even though I’m 26 days like clockwork … usually. 

I wake up around 730am, but stay in bed. I woke up at around 3am and realised I hadn’t done something for work, so had to find my laptop and do what I needed to get done. It only took about 10 minutes, but it woke me enough to find it hard to go back to sleep. 

I go down to the main room at about 830am and say good morning to the staff sitting and standing around the kitchen bench, which is also their work station. It’s designed this way to make the room feel more open, like you can approach anyone at anytime. No food is cooked in this area. There’s another kitchen area for preparing and cooking all the delicious food we’ve been eating. 

‘Lauren, would you like your breakfast now?’

Breakfast is a small piece of sourdough toast, avocado and a poached egg, as well as a small smoothie bowl. Again, the smoothie bowl is served in cute wooden bowl with ‘Bali’ calved in rockmelon. So cute! 

While I’m eating, I’m chatting with another new lady. She’s from Singapore and doing the ‘grief’ package. Whenever someone shares what packages they’re on, I never ask ‘why’. It’s none of my business and up to them if they want to share. She shares at a later time that she’s recently lost her husband. 

Some of the others who have just finished Pilates join our table.

After breakfast, Julia and I go for a walk to get coffee. It’s funny, but I haven’t been out of the retreat complex, apart from when we got the buggy down to the beach for our letting go ceremony or when I walked across the drive way for the Balinese Healing with the priestess yesterday. 

It’s nice to walk the busy streets and hear the noises of Bali that I love so much. 

We walk about 10 minutes to a popular coffee place called ‘Blacklist Coffee Roasters‘. It’s a black building and there are a couple of very attractive, very fit looking people sitting out the front. They look like they’re posing for photos, but they’re not. It feels a little odd. But we open the huge door and are warmly welcomed and asked to take a seat. It’s a black and dark room and you can see where they roast the coffee through a glass wall in the next room. 

We order our coffee and chat non stop! Julia is someone who I would definitely be friends with at home, so our conversation is very easy. She’s fun and open and vibrant! And she’s got some great stories and doesn’t hold back. She’s loud and expressive but absolutely not in an obnoxious way. She’s very cool! 

We realise the time and have to leave in a hurry as Julia has a treatment at 10:30 and I have a Tarot Reading at 11. We walk back and realise, we’ve talked so much, we’ve walked straight past the retreat driveway! 

When we get back, Julia rushes to her appointment and I take a seat at the big table across from Julie. 

Julie looks beautiful! She’s glowing, her hair is clean and looks like it has been styled, but I think it’s naturally dried like that. Her skin looks so clear and fresh and she just has this lightness about her. Shes glowing! She’s definitely had the most obvious physical transformation. She literally looks 20 years younger than the lady at the dinner table on first night. It’s crazy! She looks like a completely different woman to who we met just 4 days ago! 

I compliment her and she agrees that feel feels like a new woman and seems very happy with herself. As she should be! We chat about our experiences with Edwin and all of a sudden I feel a sickness in my tummy that I haven’t felt since Saturday morning before I got here. 

Without saying anything I start to panic internally and think to myself ‘oh no it’s coming back’. My brain starts to think that this beautiful healing experience is nearly over and soon I’ll be at home feeling this sick anxious feeling on a daily basis again. I’m not sure what my facial expressions are but I realise that it’s the coffee. I haven’t had a coffee since I left Legian about 4 days ago. 

I interrupt Julie and say ‘oh I feel anxiety in my tummy and I’m sure it’s the coffee’. She agrees and shares that she had a headache for the first 2 days and she is certain it was a coffee detox. 

We can have coffee if we want to but I’ve been opting for tea. I haven’t had the craving for coffee that I get each morning at home. If coffee is going to make me feel like this, I don’t want it anymore. 

I’ve booked an optional Tarot reading at 11am and while that excites me, I want the anxious feeling to go away. 

Jenny is the Tarot reader and she’s so lovely. She has an accent but I can’t place where she’s from. Maybe Netherlands, I’m not sure. 

The reading is in one of the bedrooms with a little table and chairs set up nicely and a little side table for her decks of cards and some crystals and the room smells really nice. She invites me to the bathroom where we both wash our hands. 

She explains what she does and she hands me a deck and tells me to shuffle the deck ask the deck a question but guides me on how to ask it. 

The reading is amazing and spot on! I can’t believe it. I’m trying not to give too much away with my facial expressions and try to keep it cool by saying ‘ok’, ‘hhhmmm’ and so on. She talks about past, present and future and while the cards can’t necessarily predict the future, Jenny tells me they can be a guide. 

This has been perfect timing to do this today after all the healing yesterday and I completely feel like I’m on the right path, guilt and regret start to disappear and as strange as it sounds, I’m feeling excited for the future! She’s let me record it and I can’t wait to listen back. Jenny will also create a PDF version of the reading and send it to me with a little bit of homework. I’m excited to receive that! 

I later tell Julie all about it and she gets excited and books a reading too! 

After that amazing reading, the anxiety comes back a little… just a little to let me know it’s still there. I skip lunch today. Instead I sit in the Coconut Lounge and do a little bit of work. It’s only the third time I’ve opened my laptop since being in Bali, so I’m not complaining. A repeat client needs to book flights, so I book them for him and email over the details. It doesn’t take long. There’s much more work I could do, but nothing is urgent and I know it can wait till I get home. I know I need this time to switch off and for once, I don’t feel guilty about it. 

At 2pm, I have my treatment of the day. It’s an interesting one. It’s called Urovasti. It’s 75mins and involves putting a circle made of dough on my chest and filling it with oil. Letting it sit there and refilling as needed while I have my legs, arms, head and shoulders massaged. I have my eyes covered so can’t see but I imagine it must look pretty weird. But it’s amazing. Probably my second favourite after the dry brushing one a couple of days ago. I get small waves of the anxiousness but it feels like it going! It was definitely the coffee. 

The rest of the afternoon is spent relaxing by the pool. As the sun starts to make its way down, I go back to my room for a shower before dinner. 

I don’t want to get out of the shower cause it’s so nice just standing there in the warm water. I’m tired and I’m not hungry and I seriously consider not going down for dinner. But I want to see all the ladies and see how their days were. I can’t see Julie, so I’m assuming she’s at her tarot reading. 

The not so friendly butterflies are in my tummy again but it comes and goes. It’s annoying me now. Is this an after effect of yesterday’s healing trauma with Edwin? I try not to focus on it and have some lovely conversations with the girls. I’m next to Samatha who I just adore. She’s super sweet and she tells me about the strategies that have been working for her and she feels so much better than she did yesterday. She deserves to be so happy, as does everyone here. She got a tattoo today on her finger that says ‘surrender’. 

While I’m chatting away I feel someone give me a big hug from behind. It’s Julie! She’s ecstatic. Her face is beaming. She’s just finished her tarot reading with Jenny and hugged me to say thank you for sharing how much I enjoyed mine and inspiring her to book. 

She’s received some powerful and exciting news from the tarot cards. And apparently, ‘the cards never lie’. I’m excited for her. 

Julia is heading out to a drag show and Jo is going too. I really want to tag along but I’m tired and I have a very early start tomorrow. So I go to my room, have a shower, FaceTime Layla for a little while and it’s into bed for me. 

Day 6 - ‘I’m Proud of You xox’

The alarm went off at 5:15am. Today I’ve decided to join in the sunrise cycle. I haven’t ridden a bike for years. But I’m trying all the things! My friend Helen, who is a travel writer and the beautiful person who recommended this place, said I have to do it! Some of the women here did it Tuesday morning and said it was really worth while. I slept like shit, and did think about pulling out, but I’m listening to Helen and the ladies who did it earlier in the week, and get my ass up! 

Last night, there were three of us who said we’d do the ride today. We’re supposed to start at 545am but as I make my way to the kitchen area, there’s not a soul in sight. I message Jo and ask if she’s coming. She messages straight away and says ‘see you soon!’

Our guide, Nikko, comes in to get us and takes us to the laneway to pick our bikes. We’re given a little rundown about traffic and we’re told to keep to the left as far as possible and don’t worry about all the dogs on the road. I’m a little nervous about riding on the main road. The streets are always so busy with so many scooters and cars and people and not many road rules. Most of the time it’s very chaotic. The roads aren’t in great condition either and there’s lots of bumps and broken gutter and ditches that would be easy to fall into. Because it’s so early, the traffic isn’t too bad. But as it’s not even 6am, the sun is not up yet, so it’s dark. We jump on our bikes and start pedalling. 

I’m worried. My pedals are really hard to push and I think if this is how hard it’s going to be, then my little legs are not going to be able to do it. And they’re still sore from Pilates the other day! I try to play around with the gears but they don’t seem to be working. Nikko notices I’m struggling… cause it’s pretty bloody obvious. He tells me I’m not going fast enough for the gears to change. Oh my god. I’m not very good at this. 

I push hard with my legs to get up some speed and play with the gears and hear the click click and am relieved when the pedals become so much lighter. Now I’m good to go! 

We’re riding for about 15 mins when we come to a really busy road. Traffic coming for both directions, lots of beep beep and I’m wondering how we’ll ever be able to cross this road safely. And I’ve crossed lots of roads in Bali. Nikko walks to the middle of the road with one hand on his bike and the other making a stop sign. The traffic stops and we can cross. 

We’re now on a footpath that takes us through the rice paddy fields and it’s much more peaceful and feels so much more safe. It’s also not as dark. 

It’s a little uphill but not too bad. We continue on for another 5 minutes and stop by the side of the path, park our bikes and stand between the crops. We’re very careful about where we stand when we remind each other that Julia told us she fell in last year. Looking around, I can see it wouldn’t be hard to do.

We face towards where the sun is slowly starting to make an appearance and I notice 2 landmarks. One is Mount Agung. Agung is an active volcano and the highest point in Bali. And to the left is a smaller volcano called Mount Batur. I’ve hiked up Batur before. You can do a sunrise hike where you’re picked up from Ubud at 2am and hike up the volcano and watch the sunrise. It was a struggle for me when I didn’t it back in 2023 but it was so worth it when you go to the top to see the sunrise over Bali. You can also hike Agung, but it’s a much longer and much more strenuous hike. If you want to see the sunrise on top of Agung, you need to begin the hike at 1130pm the night before. Not my cup of tea, thanks. 

The sunrise is very pretty but it is a little cloudy so it’s probably not as spectacular as it could be.  

Making our way back on the bikes is a little scary. The traffic has picked up a lot! But we stick to the left and hold on for dear life. I’m so glad I did this. Even though when my alarm went off this morning, I felt like doing a last minute no-show. 

I know my legs will be sore tomorrow. 

When we get back, the lovely staff are in the kitchen and offer us some coffee or tea. I’m not going to risk having a coffee after yesterday, so a green tea it is. 

We sit over on the couch and not long after that Janine comes thru the door. I briefly met Janine and her husband yesterday and introduced myself. I met Trent first when he walked into the kitchen and I cheekily asked ‘who are you?’ 

The only men around the retreat are some of the staff, so even though I think he has something to do with the ownership of the retreat, I need confirmation. And he looks really friendly and I’m sure he’s happy to chat. He confirms he’s one of the owners. He’s says he’s only here to help with a photo shoot. He doesn’t stay at the retreat. But he and Janine have a house down the road. 

Janine is so lovely. She comes and sits with us on the couch and we chat for ages. She tells us that she doesn’t stay in the retreat often. She asks about our experiences here, where we are from and she shares some exciting new experiences she’s bringing to the retreat. It sounds incredible. Another reason to come back! 

It’s only 8am and some of the girls go to yoga. I’ve done enough physical activity this morning, so go back to the room for an hour before heading back down for breakfast. I’m excited cause I’ve actually worked up an appetite!!! 

I have a good chat with Samantha and she seems so great today! She’s really been putting into practice what she’s being taught and it shows. She seems really proud of herself and I’m proud of her too. I wish I had of told her in the moment. I’ll tell her when I see her next. 

During breakfast I feel a wave of emotions. Good ones! I feel so lucky. I feel so grateful to have met these women but I also think how lucky I am that when I travel, I seem to attract the most amazing people wherever I go. 

The only anxiety (very small amount) I have felt today is about going home. I’m excited to see the kids and my parents and my friends but I also know I’m going to miss my new friends here and of course this luxurious lifestyle we’ve been living! I honestly haven’t had to lift a finger. I went to make some toast this morning and I was told to go sit down and it would be taken care of for me. BLISS! 

Long after breakfast is finished, we’re still all chatting away around the table. We slowly disperse to attend our various appointments. 

My first appointment for the day is a signature massage. I loved the last one I had so I’m really looking for to the next 60 minutes of bliss and I am not disappointed. It’s the best one for the whole stay! 

I’m sipping my ginger tea in the Coconut Lounge and notice ‘Tara’ (not her real name), the beautiful 17 year old who is her with her mum. We’ve chatted a little throughout the week, mainly about our love for cats, but that’s about it. She’s such a lovely girl and I ask her about her experience so far. Of course she’s loving it and mentions she wishes she could make the same food at home. 

We talk about how amazing Julie’s transformation has been and I can’t help but mention to ‘Tara’ that I’m so happy that she’s taken it all in. She’s so lucky to have done what she’s done this week at such a young age. She’s very grateful and I can see it in her face. 

Now it’s time for more food! Lunch is delicious as always. Apparently, we’re going to be given all the recipes, but there’s no way I could cook as good as this. Everything is so fresh, healthy, delicious and beautifully presented. 

Alicia, our yoga teacher, joins us for lunch. I love listening to her speak. She's effortlessly beautiful, with this calm, grounded energy, and dresses like a yoga goddess. 

After lunch it’s time for my second treatment for the day and this is a Hair Creambath. 

I have my hair lightly dampened and then a thick conditioning cream is smothered through my hair. 

For an hour, my head, arms and neck are massaged. It’s heaven! 

I’ve got to leave the conditioner in my hair for about half an hour, so I go and drink my ginger tea by the pool and chat with Tori. 

Tori is a pretty blonde girl from San Francisco. She’s really nice. We’ve had a few conversations throughout the week and she was on the bike ride with Jo and I this morning. Everyone here is so nice! I’ll miss them when we all go our separate ways tomorrow. 

It’s time to wash out my hair. I’ll wash, dry and straighten tonight as we have our ‘Cacao Circle & Dinner’ at the beach tonight. 

The Cacao Circle is like our closing ceremony. We’re taken by 3 cars through the insane traffic of Canggu to Pantai Lima (Lima Beach). It’s a black sand beach and as we make our way to our spot. We’re all excited about our little set up we can see from a distance. It’s so beautiful. Big woven mats are on the sand and small chairs low to the ground are around the edge of the mats in a large circle. In the middle of the circle is a beautiful floral arrangement of orange, pinks and reds. Some pretty white Balinese umbrellas are at one end and it just looks so gorgeous. I’m in between Julia and Jo, which feels significant as they’re the first girls I met when I got here. Yuni is hosting tonight and I know it’s going to be an emotional evening. 

While we sip our warm cacao and fresh coconuts, we listen as Yuni expresses herself so perfectly and reminds us why we came here, all the incredible things we’ve each accomplished and how we’re now a ‘sisterhood’. I have to admit that I’m not a fan of the word ‘sisterhood’ and think it’s a bit corny but I get it! … Some of us have become so close and shared so much that we have a very special bond. We are asked to write a love letter to ourselves, if we want to. Then we can place it in the small fire pit set up beside us that turned up out of nowhere. I simply write: 

‘Dear Lauren, 

I’m proud of you and I’m excited for your future. 

L xox’

Yuni invites us to share how we feel after the amazing week we’ve had. Everyone feels the same: Proud. Grateful. Lighter. Excited! We are not the same women we were 6 days ago. 

We are served our dinner in circular woven baskets. When we open the lids, we see so much food and each little dish in its own little banana leaf bowl. There’re even skewers of fruit and some pineapple cake. 

We walk back to the cars in the dark and head back to the retreat. 

When we get back, Yuni says she needs to talk to me and pulls me aside. It’s a kind of de brief but she also shares that she has experienced almost an identical situation to what bought me here. She tells me to keep up the amazing work I’ve been doing here and gives me a warm embrace. I really love Yuni. She’s so genuinely caring and wants the best for me. 

It’s only about 830pm but I’ve been up since 515am, so I say goodnight. 

When I get to my room there’s a metal bowl filled with warm water and topped with beautiful flowers as well as a jar of ‘lavender oasis foot soak’ to add it the water. I’m so tired, I just want to shower and hop into bed. As I get into bed, I notice a handwritten letter: 

“Dear Lauren,

Thank you for trusting us to be part of your healing journey. Remember that your past does not define your future. Be gentle with yourself and trust that every experience has helped you become the strong and beautiful person you are today. As you return home choose yourself with love, embrace new beginnings with an open heart and believe that the best chapters of your life are still ahead of you. Wishing you peace confidence and true happiness always. 

With Love,

Your Escape Haven Family”

Day 7 Home Time & The Next Chapter

I had a shitty dream last night and I feel like it’s going set me back, but I don’t let it. I focus on all the work I’ve done this week and all the amazing things I know are coming for me. 

I slowly start to gather my clothes and toiletries and place everything on the bed ready to pack. It looks like I have more than I came with, but I don’t really. Other than the little journal that we were given in our welcome gift pack, drink bottle and the gorgeous little notes of affirmation and sleep tips placed near our pillows each night at turndown service.  I’ve packed really well. I’ve worn everything I packed this time! I’m getting good at ‘hand luggage only’ packing. 

It’s strange to think that tomorrow I’ll be wearing hoodies and jeans again. 

I head down early for breakfast and sit on the couch while I wait for the others to finish yoga. While I’m waiting Janine (the owner) comes in and sits with me. She’s absolutely lovely and genuinely wants to get to know me and the others. We then take a seat for breakfast with some of the others and continue our conversation. Janine meets Julia (I’ve named her Wild Child). I love watching Julia in conversations. She’s so vibrant, expressive, beautiful, confident and unapologetic. I find myself wishing I was more like her. 

The conversations continue until some of us have to head off to our last appointments. Before I leave for my reflexology treatment, ‘Tara’ comes to say goodbye. Her and her mum have an earlier flight that the rest of us so have to leave now. ‘Tara’ seems genuinely pleased to have met and spent time with us all and I’m impressed by her and she seems a lot more mature than 17. 

Reflexology is in one of the cabanas by the pool near the yoga room that I have not swam in yet. Most of us have spent time in the pool and spa around the treatment rooms. The cabana is set up beautifully with loads of pillows so I’m nice and comfortable. I wonder how I’m going to go back home without a beautiful massage or pampering each day! 

Lunch today is a ‘light lunch’, which is totally fine by me seeing as we only just had breakfast. Lots of fruit, corn chips and dip, fresh rice paper rolls and some little bruschettas. It all looks so beautifully presented. 

After lunch I’m quickly gathered by Wang to do a video testimonial. This is something I agreed to yesterday but don’t really feel like doing it today. But of course I do it. It’s been one of the most amazing experiences of my life. Transformational. So why wouldn’t I want to share my experience and feedback for others to see. I also know how important client reviews are for my business. It only takes about 5 mins! Done! 

Our transfer to the airport is at 1pm today but most of us don’t fly out until later that night. My flight is at 10pm, so I’ve booked a room at a hotel 5 mins from the airport. This has been something I’ve done the past few Bali trips when I have a late flight. The hotel is simple but clean and comfortable and has a lovely pool area. They also have an airport shuttle that goes to the airport every hour on the hour. 

I invite Jo to hang out with me. Jo and I get in the car and on our way. The traffic is so bad! I’m reminded why I don’t really like the Canggu area. It takes 2 hours to get to the hotel and it’s only 20kms!  

Jo and I change into our bathers and head down to the pool. We jump in for a bit then lay on the lounge chairs and chat. Jo is very easy to talk to and I think how I’d love to keep in touch. She’s so gentle, small and softly spoken. She’s gotten a lot out of the retreat too! 

Jo’s flight is at 8pm, so she gets the 5pm shuttle. 

So, I make my way up to the room. I potter for a bit, download some Netflix shows, just in case Qantas don’t have anything I want to watch. 

I’ve unfortunately been unsuccessful with the points upgrade bid for business class, so getting myself psyched up for 6hrs on an overnight flight in economy on a completely full plane! And I didn’t bring my neck pillow! But it is what it is.

What This Week Taught Me

This whole experience has been emotional, uncomfortable, funny, luxurious, healing and incredibly grounding. I came here feeling completely broken and overwhelmed with regret, sadness and so many other horrible feelings. And somehow, day by day, treatment by treatment, conversation by conversation, I’ve started to feel lighter.

Even though I’m sad to leave, I’m so happy and proud that I’ve done this. It wasn’t easy but I feel like I’ve truly healed and can move on with my life and am excited for what’s to come. The Next Chapter! 

Thank you!

If you've made it this far, thank you for coming along on this journey with me.

If parts of my story resonated with you, or you've been feeling like you need to press pause and put yourself first for a change, maybe this is your sign.

I can't promise you'll have exactly the same experience I did, because everyone's journey is different. But I can honestly say that Escape Haven came into my life at exactly the right time, and I'm so grateful I made the decision to go.

If you've been thinking, "I need something like this," just send me a message. I'd love to chat and help you plan your own escape at Escape Haven

I also have an exclusive offer for you! You'll get a bonus 90-minute Luxury Spa Treatment, complimentary late check-out (including room access if available), and a complimentary late airport transfer. You can email lauren@bookthetrip.com.au

for more information.

You never know, it might just be the trip that changes your life too.